the handyman cometh

I've made the rounds of blogs of note, and I see that everybody's content with their holidays so far. I'm about three quarters done with Christmas, with one more family gathering set for... hrm... it was supposed to be tonight, but now I think it's tomorrow. I hope it doesn't get pushed back to Sunday, as that would suck big time. I not only have OpenRPG up and running finally, but I'm anxious to play, and my wife is aware of it, and everything.

My week off hasn't felt like a week off. Not at all. But then, even though it's Friday my week is only half over. This middle of the week holiday thing is very disorienting. What's worse, when I get back to work I'm going to feel like I've got five days to get things done when I'll only have three. As for around the house, we haven't accomplished anything yet. I feel like such a sloth, but I have no motivation to get started. I'm not entirely behind the project to begin with, but if my wife wants a chair rail in the dining room, she gets a chair rail in the dining room.

Actually, I'm behind the chair rail part of the project and the even casing around the window and doorway. The big problem is that there's no place to stop the rail on one wall. Just ending it would be okay if it were just a rail, but having a contrast color on the lower portion means we have to divide the dining room from the living room and terminate the chair rail appropriately. That's the part of the project I'm not behind. I can't for the life of me figure out how to make this divider (or any divider) look good. We went out and got a piece of molding yesterday that I can drop from ceiling to floor, which would be perfect if the ceiling were one level... but it's interrupted by a beam/vent that already divides the two rooms.

"Perfect!" you say? It would be except that the vent is too damn wide. Where do I drop the molding? In the middle? On the edge? On the outside edge? Everytime I get ready to do it, I have second thoughts about the whole project: we want to be in another home by fall, do we really want to do all this work just to turn around and sell the place? Can't we just paint the room, forget about the moldings, and look for a new place that's primed and ready for redecoration? Is it my slothful nature to rationalize procrastination, or is it actual misgivings about the plans? I don't know.

I do know that sitting here on the computer and chatting away is procrastination. Time to get to work. Even if I don't get around to the moldings, there's still a heck of a lot of room to clean up in order to start painting.

openrpg is open for business

Jes'ikah has wrestled with the python and appears to be triumphant. It seems that all she needed was a new pair of socks? Per the faqs at wxPython, I merely upgraded a .dll or two because I'm a freakin' loser who holds onto win95 and it's assorted patches because I don't have the hardware to run anything else. I don't know what the performance of OpenRPG will be like, but at least I can run it now.

Drop me another intro email with her brand spankin' new adventure hook, please Mr. DungeonBasterd, Sir? I'll see y'all on the 30th.

housekeeping

A couple of moves to the sidebar links today. Dusty finally gave Puck You! the boot from the ring, which makes sense because until Dayna makes another appearance it's just an extra click-thru on the morning routine. Also, I helped Amy get her blog working again so I've removed the "out of order" flag. Hrm, I might just miss that Error 405...

just trying to be helpful
Looking for a Cool Job? Check out the Featured Jobs. If you don't see something you like highlighted here, please check out the Job Seeker Section. AdultStaffing.com is the first job board of its kind catering to the Adult Industry. The following jobs are now open...

Hrm. Let's see what they have available for RMF. [116] listings under "Business Opportunity" including this featured opportunity in Dallas, Texas.

bah hum bug

I had something to say yesterday, but blogger was down during my window of opportunity to say it. And, today I can't remember. Deal with it.

kpvp radio - where the [hits] just keep on coming
Strip for Tuesday, 18 December 2001

This one's for Dusty. Just keep remembering: it's not their fault.

two in a row? [pvp]
Strip for Wednesday, 12 December 2001

Sorry, but this one has Matt written all over it. I had to point it out.

player versus player [strip]
Strip for Sunday, 09 December 2001

Heh. Nostalgia is fun. I'm catching up on all my daily web comics that I gave up in order to tinker with fan sites and seek out conspiracy news.

pay attention to 27, she knows what she's talking about

Message boards allow you to let your users post information and questions in a public page where people can post messages back and look at them too. As an admin you can customize the look, change text, add images, edit messages and make your board more interactive.

Dusty already pointed this out recently. CGISpy.com Free Remote CGI Hosting! One of the scripts available is a threaded message board which can easily act as a way for readers to post feedback. Being threaded it's a half-a-step more useful than your common guestbook (a la Diaryland or Geocities). Plus, one CGISpy account is good for any number of other scripts that could be useful. Polls, counters, stats, etc. The usual stuff.

Normally I'd try to direct you away from yet another ad banner supported service, but since you're already on blog*spot what's another banner, eh?

we're on a mission from god [smytty]

OK...Took off snorcomments and but reblogger back. Yes, it isn't working either, but there's a chance it will return. I'm sick of doing the comment hokey-pokey.

I'm making it a personal mission to find an alternate comment system for blog*spot users suchs as smytty & deb. Even if I have to annex Dayna's blogback account.

disturbing search requests
danza porn
Eh oh. Oh eh. I'm #2 for this search!
the search request found in Hannah Rokel's log files on 12/14/01; 8:13:22 AM.

Okay, guys. Game's over and Steil Loung closed the poll. You can stop sucking up now, Dusty.

jes'ikah's journals

Here you go, DungeonBasterd, a 50px transparent mini to represent Jes'ikah in your OpenRPG map room. Just in case you can't tell, it's Sheila from the D&D cartoon.

carol of the day

It went zip when it moved
and pop when it stopped,
and whirrr when it stood still.
I never knew just what it was and I guess I never will.

It's a scavanger hunt, today. You have to go find it.

another one bites the dust [lines]

Wow. This sucks. They hit me really hard today. It's official. I'm incommunicado from work now. No internet, no email even.

I took the same hit yesterday. Not quite as bad because certain internet is required for my job functions, but it was yet another warning that my procrastination continues to be noticed. Not that this will contain me. I'm an addict, I'll find my fix.

bermuda's livejournal [04-May-01]

So, even though I'm blogging [MUDACOM], I'm still here. I'm running in parallel. It's almost like there's two of me. Well, there are two of me but that's another story for another time.

*roflmao* "...it's almost like there's two of me..." as early as May. And, even better, that weekend was the story contest entry that ended with this passage:

Everything is as it should be and the accounts and passwords roll from his fingertips without hesitation, but they all have one frightening fact in common:

None of the accounts existed prior to November 7, 2000. The day he had first read about Majestic the Game, and had created the character of Dave 'Bermuda' Schwartz...

do you enjoy a good bit of postmodern irony?

I'm How British Are You?!

I know the differences between Brits and Americans, and I'm just so glad to tell you all about them. I won't say too much, though, or I'll exceed my daily bandwidth limit. Again.

Click here to find out which test you are!

damnitdamnitdamnitdamnit
[tick]
[tick]
[tick]
[click]
"...could you hurry, sir, daddy said there's not much time
you see, mom's been sick for quite a while..."
[snooze]
[tick]
[tick]
*wide awake*
[tick]
Damn it.

onmouseover also sucks ass

Thanks, Rasp. I'll remember it was you who suckered me into this one with invasive javascript...

catching up
I'm getting back into the swing of things after taking a long weekend. Apparently I've missed a number of things along the way. I hear the D&D game went swimmingly; the OpenRPG was a successful experiment, so I'll be looking forward to getting my feet wet with it as soon as possible. I also see by reading up on Matt & Dusty that Sabby is rapidly becoming one of the family. Inferences in her own blog seem to imply that she & Dusty are getting along so well there's a BRoF invite out there in the eLimbo waiting to be answered. Welcome aboard, jigga-chick!

[now playing: Hippychick - Soho]

A couple more updates have been made to my ring URLs, as Jin & Nick have both abandoned FreeServers. It's about time. Say it with me now, kids: POP-UPS SUCK ASS.

(psst... Nick... you can update your own URL in the ring, you know...)

I wonder how much longer before GeoCities pulls the same shit with restricted usage and I'm looking for a new home as well. Hrm, maybe we should consider forming a community chest for the ring and buying into our own web host we could share sub-domains on? Anybody know if burning-ring.org is available? Heh. Better yet, some of our more technically inclined fellows can throw together a proposal for .ring as a new top-level domain, no? There's a fortune to be made on new registrations... ringers are a vain species...

As for fellow majestic refugees who are not ring mates, I'm also adding a few of them thanks to Matt. His due dilligence, subtle as it was, has informed me that Keri is finally on the bandwagon and so is Eclipse. I'm not sure I know Eclipse that well, in either of my guises, but if she's good enough for Matt she's good enough for me. (Pamela, if I do know you, forgive me for my lapse. Names without faces are beginning meld in my adled brain.)

Hey, as long as I'm thinking of it, does anyone know if the six degrees code is available? The Big Cloud would be an awesome way to manage blog rings...

yeah, i cried for old yeller. so what?
I heard a new christmas tune last night. I heard it twice, actually, in the span of four hours. I'm guessing it's a fairly recent release, as I've never heard it before. Or, if I have, I smartly supressed it.

Public Safety Announcement: Be alarmed. This song will sneak up on you unawares and attempt to make you feel miserable. This one tugs at your sense of humanity. It makes you feel like someone just removed your heart with a spork. Playing this song for an unsuspecting victim is the equivalent taking a voodoo doll and grinding it's face into a raw onion. I caution you now, the chorus is as follows:

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my mama, please
It’s Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy said there’s not much time
You see, mom’s been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if mama meets Jesus tonight

Of course, having had the evening to assimilate it, I can now revert to my natural cynicism and reflect on just how over-the-top it is. The chorus is merely the wellspring of pity. The verses describe said young boy: poor, tattered, dirty, homeless, waifish, etc. And after he spreads his pennies upon the countertop the heartless, contemptible, miserable, miserly, Scrooge of a cashier tells the poor child to piss off because he's come up short. Naturally, the boy turns his rheumy puppy-dog eyes to the narrator, being the man next in line, and innocently asks "Whatever shall I do?" Of course, our hero vocalist has no choice but to open his wallet to this effigy of Tiny Tim, thus remembering The True Meaning Of Christmas. And, as if that isn't enough, the remaining choruses are sung in harmony by a children's choir!

[now playing: The Christmas Shoes - NewSong]
(NewSong will be performing at Xtreme Winter 2001)

the 1st annual reggae marathon [results]
Brian David Hampel
6 hours, 53 minutes, 36 seconds
286th of 400 Overall
40th of 45 Men's Age 30-39
17th of 33 MD/DC/VA Participants

Yes, that entry on Saturday says 4:42 am and it means 4:42 am. I don't know if I told you all what the schedule of events was going to be, but it went something like this...
3:00 am wake up call
3:30 am actually wake up
4:00 am breakfast
4:40 am hit the internet kiosk on the way to the shuttle
4:45 am last shuttle from hotel to starting line
5:45 am scheduled start time
6:00 am actual start time (one shuttle was late)
6:30 am sunrise...

It's a good thing we started before sunrise, too, because it wasn't just hot... it was damn hot.

Sidebar: I don't know if you've ever heard stories about "The Road to Negril", but they're all true. Every last one of them. For all the beauty that Jamaica is, it's still a third-world country when it comes to infrastructure. Montego Bay is an airport hub, Negril is an hour and a half away by tourist bus. That's 90 mintues of gravel roads and hairpin turns taken at 85mph while dodging stray livestock, bicyclists, and construction vehicles. Yes, the entirety of that road was under construction. This is a good thing if you're a resident who needs a job, or if you're a tourist board that needs a highway. This is not such a good thing if you're a marathon participant that's running/walking this route.

The plan was that this road was going to be finished before the marathon. Several contractors were hired out to complete several portions of the road, with bonus and incentives for completing it by race day. I can actually say that there was a road surface for the entire 26.2 miles of the course. There wasn't when we drove in on Thursday, but apparently somebody dropped fresh asphalt over the last 1.5 mile section of gravel on Friday. Woo-hoo! Fresh, hot asphalt steaming away on race day! And we're not talking about the whole road, either. They only had time to lay two five-foot wide strips between Mile 14 thru Mile 15. This was, btw, also Mile 17 thru 18. Let me tell you, I was not the only participant that chose the hardpacked gravel in the center aisle rather than the asphalt.

My coaching group trained for this in DC (of course) where we had declining humidity and temperature rates coming into winter. Our 20 mile practice run was about 50 degrees and cloudy. We were told to expect seasonal temperatures of 85 highs and 75 lows. Nobody mentioned 85% humidity. Nobody mentioned it could be 95 degrees. Nobody mentioned fresh asphalt. I had a goal of finishing this thing in 6 hours. I expected to finish in 6.5 hours. You have no idea how elated I was to see that the timeclock had not yet hit 7 hours when I came in. If and when they publish the finish line pictures, I guarantee that the expression on my face will be easily distinguishable as "Holy Fucking Shit! No Fucking Way!!!"

The end result is that I had a good time of it. It didn't kill me. I don't forsee any lasting physical damage to my body. And I'd very likely be interested in doing another marathon at some future date. Not in Jamaica, mind you, but another marathon just the same. I'm thinking maybe I'll try again at age 35, and again at 40, and again at 45...

My wife didn't fare so well. She finished. She finished in just over 7.5 hours. Her goal was 7 hours, but like me she was more than happy to accept the additional time in the face of those conditions. Unfortunately, she did this at the cost of her feet. She's currently trying to rest off multiple silver-dollar size blisters that are preventing her from walking. She's taking it in good stride: she's more upset about not being able to attend the victory celebration than she is about the pain. She's also a bit upset about not being able to do any of the fun tourist stuff while we were there. Before the race, we were "in training" and after the race we were "too fucking tired and sore." We'll definitely be going back to Jamaica. Not to run a marathon, mind you, but back to Negril just the same.

One really neat thing, though: After the race, while my wife was layed out in our room whimpering, we had a visitor from a really cool island native. One of the two resident peacocks at Couples Resort decided he'd like to hang out on our porch and shoot the breeze. It made all the difference in the world.

song of the day
Run, Run Rudolph

countdown to disaster

christmas eve & other stories
Sitting in his bunker on December 24th, he listens to the sounds of Christmas carols from the old cello player mingling with the sounds of war. Katrina, on the other side of the battlefield, is also listening. It had just stopped snowing and the clouds had given way to reveal a beautiful star-filled sky when suddenly the cello player's music abruptly ceases.

Yeah, more seasonal music. I got in the car for my morning commute and was greeted by one of my very favorites for the last 5 years. The carol of the bells is an engaging melody that has always thrilled me. When I first heard this in 1996, I was absolutely enthralled by it. It is an agressive and driving arrangement of the carol for a 60 piece orchestra. And it rocks... hard.

Originally, this was an instrumental piece from Savatage on the rock opera/concept album "Dead Winter Dead" in 1995. (Savatage is a group out of Florida who have toured with Kiss, Maiden, Metallica, Nugent, Priest, and the like.) It became an unexpected radio hit, and it's success inspired collaborators Paul O'Neill, Robert Kinkel, and Jon Oliva to expand their portfolio into Trans-Siberian Orchestra.

[now playing: Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24 - Trans-Siberian Orchestra]
(read the full synopsis of "Dead Winter Dead" by Savatage)

smoldering ring of fire [list]
For those of you browsing the ring and wondering why you keep getting stuck, here's the deal. Surrealmedium is undergoing a rebuild and it may be another day or two before it comes back up. What does that mean to you, you ask? It means that Dusty and Dayna are without a host, hence why you can't get to 27things or Puck You!

For your convenience, Dusty is going to temporarily suspend the pages so that it doesn't hang up the ring anymore. Don't worry, they'll be back. But where can you get their nuggets of wisdom, you ask? Try taking a peek at deep cover once in a while.

advent playlist redux
Ha, ha, ha. Silly me. Post a "song-a-day"? What the hell was I thinking? I can't even make a daily post of babble, much less one of content. Just forget I ever mentioned it. I may continue to write about the topic, but don't expect it daily. That being said...

[now playing: Peace On Earth / Little Drummer Boy - David Bowie & Bing Crosby]
(from the eponymous Special Multimedia CD Single)

It used to be that this was a rare carol to hear. Lifted from a Bing Crosby television special in the '70s, for the longest time it was only available to radio stations. Not that it was actually available, just that only radio stations with a proper archive and the nerve to sample it under fair use provisions would play it. It's always been my wife's favorite, so we've always been on the lookout for it.

It seems that a year or two ago, it hit the public domain. It was still next to impossible to find retail, but airplay was more common. Last year, I found it on a shelf at Best Buy. I was very proud of that. I thought for sure this low budget multimedia CD single would be the only place it would ever appear. Afterall, it's not even a music CD. It's a video clip of the segment of the television special.

I was wrong and this year it's on every single compilation album to be released. Even Starbucks has it on one of their discs. I expect it will be overplayed this season, and not one of the special treats to be looked forward to.

But right now it's still fresh, so I present it to you with my compliments.

what are we, 12 again?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, fine. You wanted to see the pictures, you get to see the pictures. I managed to cull a few shots that are semi-respectable after all is said and done.

After the first day at sea, we discovered how to use the camera's self-timer. This pic was taken shortly after we returned from dinner. By the way, this night was [formal]. While dressing up for dinner is fun, you can't expect us to be so refined all the time. During the day, we're much more [casual]. That's it. No more pics from the cruise. Like I reported, everything was gray and overcast and you can't see anything worth seeing. But we did take a few others before and after the trip. These two are the babies: [Fergus] and [Keely].

advent playlist
I'm not really sure when this idea popped into my head, but I thought I'd take a crack at a "song-a-day" through the winter celebrations. All week long I've been trying to scare up the kinds of carols and melodies that I like to listen to at the end of the year. You know, the kind of stuff that shows you where my head is.

I'm not much of a traditionalist; most of what comes up is going to be novelty. Hopefully, it'll be some classics that may have escaped you in the past. I promise you right now, in advance, there will be no Elmo & Patsy. And, even given my site title, there will be no barking dogs.

In light of the 70-degree weather expected to occur today, I decided that I'd kick this off with an appropriate traditional carol afterall. Well, the source is traditional anyway, but the interpretation has a style all it's own. Please join me now in singing along, "I'm dreaming of a white christmas..."

[now playing: White Christmas - Ronnie Aldridge]
(from the Mondo Lounge compilation album: "A Bachelor Pad Christmas")